My Police Verification is Pending. I have to submit the form to IGCAR. I have to get it From my home state.
Online its available.
But before that I think POLICE should know my story. Otherwise what do they verify. Just money.
The Yellow Towel and Blood-Red Jeans: A Captive’s Story
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On this day 24 Nov 2025 legendary Bollywood actor Dharmendra passed away. Yes I can confirm. Not fake news.
He was 89.
Whole day the news will shows this. That is AOK. So I thought I pass time penning something.
I remember when I was caged with 50 other smackies in a room and TV was only source of entertainment. I didn’t really enjoyed anything except once when Dhamal 3 was on. Actually I enjoyed it a lot.
There was a room with dumb bells and weights. When not watching TV I use to only exercise. Even then my uneasiness won’t go away. So I use to take bath 3 or 4 times a day in February. Do whatever that makes you happy they say na.
There was compulsory morning and evening Aarti. Food was served but not without slurs and abuses. Actually food was the only human thing of the whole day.
When the Car Door Sounds Like a Jail Gate
A day before that I tweeted that I get afraid of Car door closing sound. When you are not safe in your own home it feels like that.
It was my delusion that once 18 you are an individual like in other countries For Ex America.
But no I forgot I was a slave. It was 2019 I think when 5 of my blood relatives entered my house and kept forcing me to be in House arrest in their home.
Though the relatives itself were a very heavy drinker. Asking me to get back to the track I left. When I resisted with very moral and valid arguments what I got was 2 tight slaps in front of a driver. 
Control- In the name of Sanskar. But when I questioned some of the their sanskar, they pushed me in their car and made me leave my home to live with them in their supervision. One was Drunkard, One was Share market addict, One was Religious Addict, One was a Driver. And one was a much much younger and very very stupid cousin. Their main problem I think was me making Youtube Videos. Novice it may be but it made me question do anyone get in front of camera unless it is totally not safe.
Any way it was unbearable so when everybody was sleeping I crawled out of the house only to return later with two bros of my age all of us with some alcohol in belly. There was no intention of fighting. I was welcomed with a nice hit on thigh with a nice fat stick. Few days ago some other relative treated me same way on my waist.
I didn’t react. My much much younger cousin and bro of my age started playing inside the car. I was outside. Then out of no where they started fighting. The much much younger one hit a punch to my age cousin. So he picked a huge rock and smashed the car windscreen. Now I knew there was a sharp sword inside the house and the much much younger cousin is very very stupid.
I broke down. I started shouting and cursing and screaming to give me a Gun so I can kill all of them. Spare not even one.
Suddenly the very very stupid cousin came running down with the sword and started swinging it in random direction. The other fellow Ran away. I don’t remember but they say I intentionally blocked a what would have been a fatal hit on my age cousin’s neck. Later I found My neck from behind also had a small cut.
Next thing I remember is me down on the road with my whole left arm slashed and the skin hanging with blood drops falling like WATER.
I had a Yellow Gamcha(Towel) with Om and other Sanatani stuff printed on it. I use to say I wear it for safety. I wrapped it around the arm to control blood loss. It didn’t really helped but may be some placebo effect.
Any way my great relatives instead of taking me to nearby Hospital. Drove 180 Km away to a different town with injured arm to Hospital to avoid police work.
When in Car I feared my left hand fingers may become dead because of the Nerve damage. The ring finger struggled for days to bend properly. But rest recovered.
I reached at 3 or 4 am. Doctor arrived at 7 or 8 am. I don’t remember. Anyone could guess its a cut injury. My whole jeans (Not genes) was red. My cousin sister fainted if I remember correctly.
Jai Shri Ram in the Operation Theatre
The doctor didn’t questioned the Car accident story. I was about to have surgery so not even water was provided. My two pet rabbits also died without anyone to give even water. At 10 or 11 am Doctor gave me anesthesia. It may be delusion but unconscious also I felt I was chanting Jai Shree Ram. I don’t usually do that. Skin from left thigh was peeled and grafted over as the slashed one was dead. Like plastic surgery.
When I gained consciousness I had to pee very badly but urine wont leave the bladder. So a male Nurse inserted a tube inside urinary track.
This was the first incident that made me question if even Matriarchy is stupid. Yes it is.
After the surgery it became septic two times because of rain and continuous travel to do the Service Closing Formalities. I needed to withdraw PF to repay family loan of Share Market Addict.
One time I was treated in Govt Hospital who didn’t even gave local anesthesia to do the surgery. Due to two more minor surgeries a part of my wrist is numb forever. Some said to apply for PWD. But I don’t think I am PWD. Am I ?! There was 3 seats for general all India. Two were PWD. So only ONE.
Then came Covid. All were locked inside. I had to live with Psuedo Pot heads. Not even medicine was available. I survived by binge watching Game Of Thrones.
Back to the Story
One day I was just strolling near by my house when this Happy The Wally occurred in my mind. So out of excitement I bought a spray paint and graffitied Happy The Wally and my first spiritual awakening site Ferretbiting.com on outside of the terrace fencing walls. Anyone with half a brain could see that.
Same as now. Use to Run Ads on Memes mostly in Foreign countries. Anchors must be remembering.
Ok I am hiding one thing. My neighbor had open bathroom. One day I accidently faced one of them bathing from balcony. She too saw me. But she didn’t discontinue it. It use to bother me. I heard other boys too commenting among themselves.
Any way I was running Ads and other stuff. Didn’t actually knew what I was doing except it had something to do with Immunity. I didn’t needed to get any vaccine yet I came out Fine.
But the same thing ie ICE was not breaking. I don’t know but average Indian may not know about Website and internet a lot but they sure are interested in Facebook Right ?!
One Ad had someone resembling the minority in the village. But it didn’t work for them. Even with thousands of likes I couldn’t save.
I had a parrot. I use to teach him Gaali to break the ICE. But nothing. It was ignorance that I couldn’t for see my family members secretly consulting a doctor I myself went for consultation a week ago.
I Blocked the Sword, They Still Locked Me Up
50 Smackies, One TV, and a Mite-Infested Hell
One evening when I was just lying on the bed with my rabbit. Three goons entered my house like my relatives before. I could judge resisting was pointless. They shove me in Bolero and took me to What they call rehabilitation center. The Doctor gave that advice to my family members. Trivia: Manohar was its name and also my late maternal Uncle who was also an addict. He died falling in the Naala. Father of the cousin I involuntarily saved from sword attack.
There is a Doctor in Canada Dr Garbor Mate. Also a writer. He says
If you wanted to Design a system that would make Addiction worse, You would design that system.
What’s the relation between hitting Ass with baseball bat and deaddiction. “NOTHING.” Whoever named me Vicky must be sadistic Bastard. So many times People have hit me like ball in the Tennis court. My father never hit me. Except this once when I was standing on terrace wall trying to recover my kite from tree just beside. That too very mildly. He cried later.
I was in much better condition in home and willing to change by myself.
That hell was mite infested. Not allowed to get out. And hall mate urinating in the sleeping hall itself as at night time the door was locked from out. One bathroom. 50 + members. What kind of rehabilitation center was that. Torture, Abuse, Inhumane treatment and on top of that unsanitary.
They use to say even police won’t come to save you all. So just comply. I use to have severe anxiety at around 4 pm. But they stopped giving me pills. It was hell.
4 PM was also my daily routine of watching News on Youtube. So I don’t know what was I addicted to. My work or …..
For one month I was in hell. It would have been acceptable if I was residing in heaven before. A lady doctor use to visit there. I told her I am not like them. I work online. And Saraswati is my original source of motivation. And studying is my sports. I even hinted that may be press people know me. I was the only one who could speak English there.
I use to consult another doctor. He was better. I asked him and he said no you don’t have such symptoms.
All this story don’t have any special purpose or motive. Its just catharsis. But good thing was my mother who use to fear going to Doctor started visiting this one voluntarily. Electrocution can do that to people.
As for me I now know spiritual awakening is sadness but compounded infinite times. So it will always be there. Pills are just petrol.
Because you cant switch to old pattern when you know the reality.
Nothing happen to us that we didn’t allow. But I also know to kill our own you have to kill yourself. Women use it as a weapon by fasting unnecessarily.
Any way since my Police verification for Level 10 Scientist job is pending I thought that at least HONEST Police men know my story.
Watch this Video.
In a nutshell Drugs are not bad. Its a natural response to environment. When there is nobody to bond with. That can give wrong impression that bonding is mandatory.
But the fact is it is not mandatory its a necessity. They are two different things. Mandatory implies mandatory optimism and cheerfulness.
Necessity implies new Outlook.(No Pun Intended)
In hell one day I was so restless that I started biting my hand to cut the veins. That didn’t worked so I went to the kitchen there a bottle of Phenyl. I was so desperate to get out that I didn’t bothered dying if not even taken out to Hospital.
But nothing happened. Just mild diarrhea and a better mood. Are you catching my point.
No right? Each cell in body can be made to follow your command. Bruce Lipton in his talk The Biology of belief says its belief but I say command or will.
Belief or rather confidence is after effect.
If willing to die one can die of vaccines also.
Important thing is to know what is your will. To live or to be respectfully killed by Nature.
Funny thing is drugs are unavoidable in both cases. So one should choose that which cause least harm to others.
NOT LIKE SUICIDE BOMBERS.
PEACE BE UPON YOU DAD.
JAB ANKH HI SE NA TAPKA TO FIR LAHU KYA HAI.
HINDUSTAN MAI REHNA HOGA TO VANDE MATRAM KEHNA HOGA.